hot like mexico

Had an intense weekend. went straight to philly after school on friday and met up with justin and max, went to the park and drank joose and 4loko for free. got sloppy drunk and just ran around, fooled around, played around. justin put me on his sholders and started running, we face planted. i hurt. then as we were leaving, me, cone and justin were about a block away on our bikes when i ran into a speeding taxi. fucked my bike up. it was hilarious, i was wasted. pissed that my bike was fucked up and unridable, i walked home to cones. the next day i showered at corinnas then hung out with justin and cone and jay and jaime, got more drunk. really drunk. almost black out drunk. jaime filled me in the next day on the things i was doing. i passed out on beckys car for a good half hour, they took pictures of it. 4loko brings out the peppa in me.
made quacamole in rittenhouse with filthy hands and filthy supplies with jaime and jay.<3
i am hopefully going to take beckys place in july at 3rd and manton. gotta get a job. i emailed doug. we'll see. mimi and gill are bitches and they can be miserable and alone together.

last night dad went away and i had ryan come over. we hadn't seen eachother in months. we had amazing sex like always. it's just sex. actual fucking. fucking is amazing. love making is for grown ups. i'm a child in a playground called philadelphia.

i graduate beauty school in a week. FUCK YEAH.
lovin life.

got send home from school today. if i had a dollar for everytime that happened, i'd be rich. just bullshit and ghetto teachers. im goin to philly.

ps. i think i fell inlove last night with someone i shouldn't have.

FEELING MANIC

First day of school. cursed them out already.
its ok though. ima do this.
4 klonapins a day now.
i just hate how i get home and alex and eamon and andrew and sally are going to play an hour away from here and i cant go cause i have SCHOOL. fuckit. FUCK THAT.
this shit better pay off.
I'm horny SO horny.

Incredibly naughty cafeteria ladies from outer space

Im really sad? this is stupid.
i miss my house.
i miss my friends.
i need motivation.
feeling so SHITTY. like WHATS GONNA HAPPENnnn?!?! where's my life going??? but then again, i'm SO young. 20. i shouldn't be worrying. that's why i loved her because she came off so care free and fun loving. but after getting to know her really REALLY well, she's first off, crazy, cares TOO much, and you have to walk on egg shells around her because if you do something she doesn't like she'll prosecute you. not fun anymore. but then again i miss her so much. EW STOP. shut up. every day i feel like i want to pick up the phone and text her or maybe even call her but then again no. going in circles forever? why? with someone who doesn't even really love me. NO.

i'm going to go text her.

epiph

i just realized what i want to do with my life. yeah ill get my cosmetology license but after that, once i have enough money, i'm gonna get a van, and turn the back into a bed, maybe bring one or 2 people with me and just drive all over the country. make friends everywhere and cut their hair, get little jobs here and there, be happy and explore the world. yay

MY MAGICS REAL SO WHY ARENT I USING IT?

Today i went to the bird haus twice. BUG OUT CITY WEIRD SHIT.
Gill and i cleaned our friends kett and kris' house. then we went to Gavin (their manager, our ex-manager) and met some german girls.

klonapins are losing there magic. maybe i'm losing my magic. NO.


I wish i still had a car, and a job.
Graduate
Get cosmetology license
Get job
Save money
Move out
Where to?
Philly or CA or somewhere else.
Do it all very soon. no pressure. have fun while you're doin it.

Today i moved out of the Bird Haus, and back in Jersey with dad.
I feel weird. I just want to ride my bike to the train right now and go ride and play in philly. I feel so weird living in Jersey. this is WEIRd man. weird man. weird man.

I feel weird, man.
It's scarey.

I might go ride around the driveway with the girls.

I need to go back to Philly.
Tuesday i start school. June 18th i graduate. then i plan on fleeing. maybe i wont even tell anyone. but i have a big mouth.

theres a little girl in my house that im gonna tie up and tape her mouth shut. she's just being annoying. annoying 8 year olds all around this place.

there are spiders in my room.
i'm tired.